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AAHA AccreditedCoping with the Pain
For years your dog was your best friend and companion. He was always there for you, his tail wagging. You would go for walks together, and in the evenings he'd sit beside you. Now, he's suddenly gone from your life and you are feeling the pain of that loss. You may be surprised by the depth of your own sorrow over the loss of a pet. But it is normal to grieve, and there are ways to cope.
- Helping a Friend . . .
Who has Lost a Pet -
- Simply say, "I am very sorry to hear of your loss." Don't say, "You can always get another pet."
- Ask what you can do to help. Make time to listen.
- Share memories you have of the pet.
- Send a sympathy card.
- Make a donation in the pet's name to an animal shelter, veterinary college, park or pet rescue fund.
- Be patient. Don't expect grief to pass quickly.
Part of the Family
Pets can be a source of amusement and joy, comfort, companionship and unconditional love. They can see you through difficult times and benefit your mental and physical health. The bonds that form between pets and their owners can be exceptionally strong. After a beloved pet has died, it's only natural to feel sorrow at the passing of a special relationship.
You are not Crazy
Wildly varied feelings can follow the loss of a pet. Initially, you may be in shock and unable to accept the loss. You may blame yourself for whatever claimed your pet's life or wrestle with feelings of guilt if you made the decision to have your pet euthanized. Some people feel angry.
After a loved companion has died, it's typical to feel "not yourself" for a while. Most people feel blue. But grief can also surface as irritability, fatigue, a loss of interest in activities, loneliness and difficulty concentrating. It's not unusual to mourn the death of a close pet for several weeks or more. But if your grief is of such an intensity or length that it's interfering with your life, you may want to seek counseling or talk to your doctor.
Pet Loss Resources
Well meaning family, friends and co-workers may not understand how important your pet was to you. You may have a hard time opening up out of fear that others won't understand the depth of your loss. But don't try to avoid grief. Talking about your loss may help. Find someone - a friend, your veterinarian, your doctor, a fellow pet lover - you can talk to. If you don't have someone you can confide in, or if you need more help, consider these options.
- Pet loss counselors - There are counselors specifically trained in pet loss and grieving. Ask your veterinarian or humane society to recommend a pet loss counselor or support group in your area.
- Pet loss support hot lines - Several veterinary schools offer over-the-phone advice on dealing with the death or serious illness of a pet. Two are Iowa State University at (888) 478-7574 and the University of Florida at (352) 392-4700, extension 4080.
- Pet loss websites - You can go online and find others dealing with the loss of a pet. Two such sites are the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement at http://www.aplb.org and Iowa State University's College of Veterinary Medicine Web Site at http://www.vetmed.iastate.edu/animals/petloss/.
- Books and videos - Check your local library or bookstore for materials on pet loss and coping. In fact, here is a link to Amazon and a listing of books in their inventory about the subject.